(dialogs--continued from other column)
3. Bob Wallace: You don't expect me to get serious with the kind of
characters you and Rita have been throwing at me, do you?
Phil Davis: Well, there have been some nice girls, too, you know.
Bob Wallace: Oh yeah, yeah. Like that nuclear scientist we just met
out in the hall.
Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to
Smith [College? Refining School?].
Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.
4. Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that
are a dime a dozen [i.e., as common as something that costs 10 cents for
Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the
5. Phil Davis [complaining that Bob is getting too old to “find a girl and
get married”]: When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be
gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is
you've got left.
Bob Wallace: When I figure out what that means I'll come up with a
6. Phil Davis [complaining that his partner keeps him too busy, and thus
needs a family]: I want you to get married. I want you to have nine
children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's
forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage
7. Phil Davis [complaining that Bob wants him to go watch two ladies sing
instead of going out to “have fun”]: Give me one reason, one good reason,
why we should spend our last 2 hours in Florida looking at the sister's of
Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy.
Bob Wallace: Let's just say we're doing it for an old pal in the army.
Phil Davis: Well, it's not good, but it's a reason.
8. [after Betty finds Judy and Phil embracing after a dance]
Betty Haynes: What is this? The best two out of three?
Judy Haynes: I guess I got carried away. [i.e., overcome by the
emotion of the moment]
Phil Davis: Yeah, she carried me right with her - I don't weigh very
9. Judy Haynes: We're booked for the holidays. [i.e., a hotel has paid us
to sing/perform there during the Christmas season]
Phil Davis: Vermont, huh?
Judy Haynes: Oh, Vermont should be beautiful this time of year, with
all that snow.
Phil Davis: Yeah, you know something... Vermont should be beautiful
this time of year, with all that snow.
Judy Haynes: That's what I just said.
Phil Davis: We seem to be getting a little mixed up.
Judy Haynes: Maybe it's the music.
Phil Davis: Maybe it isn't only the music.
10. Betty [saying that her sister does not fall in love quickly]: I've got a
flash for you: she's a real slow mover.
Phil Davis: I've got a flash right back for you: she's in there with
the champ. [i.e., Bob does not either]
11. [to get the ladies out of trouble, Phil gives them his/Bob’s train
tickets; Judy asks why]
Phil Davis: We like to take care of our friends.
Betty Haynes: But we're practically strangers!
Phil Davis: Uh, we’d like to take care of that too.
Betty Haynes: But I don't understand. Why are you doing this? I mean,
what's in it for you?
Phil Davis: Forty-five minutes all to myself.
12. [To give the ladies time to escape, Phil wants Bob to help him, dressed
as ladies, sing in Judy/Betty’s place]
Bob Wallace: I have a feeling I'm not going to like this.
Phil Davis: I have a feeling you're gonna hate it.
Bob Wallace: Then why should I do it.
Phil Davis: Let's just say we're doing it for an old…
Bob Wallace, Phil Davis: …pal in the army... yeah
13. Phil Davis: [about the train tickets] I don't have them. I must have
left them in my girdle.
[They have to buy the tickets again, but since the train is full the
only space is in the “club car” or bar. Bob tells Phil to pay.]
Phil Davis: Uh, I don't seem to have any cash.
Bob Wallace: Where'd you leave that? In your snood?
14. Bob Wallace: Miss Haynes, if you're ever under a falling building and
someone offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don't think, don't
pause, don't hesitate for a moment, just spit in his eye.
Betty Haynes: What did that mean?
Bob Wallace: It means we're going to Vermont.
15. Judy Haynes [talking about Betty]: Yesterday, she couldn't sleep.
Today, she won't eat. She's in love.
Phil Davis: Well if that's love, somebody goofed. [i.e., made a
16. Bob Wallace [praising the General’s behavior during the war]: We ate,
and then he ate. We slept and then he slept.
Phil Davis: Yeah, then he woke up and nobody slept for forty-eight
17. [this is from a comedy part of their show]
Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones? Mr. Bones? How do you feel, Mr. Bones?
Phil Davis: Rattlin'!
Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones feels rattlin'. Ha ha. That's a good one. Tell
a little story, Mr. Bones.
Bob Wallace: A funny little story, Mr. Bones!
Phil Davis: How do you stop an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
Betty Haynes: That joke is old. The answer is to kill the dog on
Phil Davis: That's not how you stop a dog from biting you on Monday!
Betty Haynes: How do you bring a thing about?
Phil Davis: Have the doggy's teeth pulled out!
Betty Haynes: Oh, Mr. Bones, that's terrible!
Phil Davis: Uh-huh.
Betty Haynes, Bob Wallace: Yes, Mr. Bones, that's terrible!
Phil Davis: Uh-huh.