1. Narrator: Inside a snowflake like the one on your sleeve, there
happened a story you must see to believe.
2. Dad (Lou Lou Who): Let's see, we've got a muncle* for your uncle, a
fant* for your aunt and a fandpa* for your Cousin Leon. So we just need--
[he notices that his daughter is missing] Cindy Lou? Honey?
Cindy Lou [looking between about 10 presents she is carrying]: Dad?
Doesn’t this seem like a bit much?
Dad: This is what Christmas is all about! Can’t you feel it?
[We see a lot of crazy shoppers and decorators]
Narrator: Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but
the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.
3. [Stu and his friends are climbing Mt Crumpit]
Stu Lou Who: Drew, I'll race you! Last one to the top’s a stinky old
Sophie: You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.
Stu: What? You're scared of The Grinch!
Drew Lou Who [trying to scare his girlfriend]: They say he lives up
here in a big cave. And he only comes down when he’s hungry for the taste
Junie: Oh, Drew!
Stu: You're scared of the Grinch! You're scared of The Grinch!
Sophie: Are not!
Stu: Are to! You're scared of...
[they come to the door, Stu and Drew look scared]
Junie: Come on, touch it. Touch the door! Do it for me, Stu.
[Stu giggles nervously, and reaches for the door when a monster comes
4. Narrator: The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season.
Now please, don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right;
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
5. Dad: Nothing beats Christmas, right?
Cindy: I guess.
Dad: You guess?
Cindy: It’s just that I look around at you and Mom and everyone
getting all kerbobbled.* Doesn’t this seem superfluous?
6. [after Lou’s sons say they had seen the Grinch]
Mayor May-Who: Lou, please tell me that your boys were not up on Mount
Crumpit, provoking the one creature within a billion bilometers* of here who
Dad [holding his sons’ mouths shut]: No sir, the boys didn’t see any
Grinch. I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or
defacing public property, or…
Mayor: Oh, well that's a relief. [then in a loud voice] All right, you
heard the man: there’s no Grinch problem here.
[Later, in the post office]
Cindy: But Dad, I just don’t understand something. Why won’t anyone
talk about the Grinch?
Dad: You kids and the Grinch! You see, Cindy, the Grinch is a Who who
always—Actually, not a Who; he’s more of a—
Cindy: A what?
Dad: Exactly, honey. And he’s a What who doesn’t like Christmas.
7. The Grinch [messing with peoples mail]: It’ll take them years to sort
this out. This is his and now it’s yours, and this hers and now it’s his!
And for the rest of you… Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail.
Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty—
8. [Cindy meets the Grinch for the first time, in the back of the post
office where her dad works]
Cindy: You're the... the...
The Grinch [mimicking Cindy]: The... the... THE GRINCH!
[Cindy falls into a machine; Max bites the Grinch’s butt because he
isn’t going to help her]
The Grinch: Oh! Bleeding hearts of the world unite! [he reluctantly
reaches into the machine to save Cindy, and then takes his mask out of
Cindy’s hand] Give me that! Don't you know you're not suppose to take things
that don't belong to you? What's the matter with you, you some kind of wild
Cindy: Thanks for saving me.
The Grinch [screeching to a stop, with his fingers squeaking on the
glass door]: Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o. I
merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear. [grabs wrapping
paper and starts wrapping Cindy up] Hold still! [to his dog, Max] Max, pick
out a bow. [to Cindy] Can I use your finger for a second?
9. Dad [picking up the phone]: Hello? Is my Subzero Chillibrator* (i.e.,
refrigerator) running? I suppose.
The Grinch: Well then you better go catch it! [he laughs wildly, and
says to Max] Ah, that’s a good one! That is rich! Let’s go home. [they climb
into a “garbage tube” marked “Dump it to Crumpit,” which dumps them
up near their home on the Mt Crumpit; as they arrive, so does more trash]
Uck! What's that stench? It's fantastic. [the bag says “Hazardous waste”]
Max! Grab a bag. We’ll come back for the rest. Of course, when I say “we” I
mean “you.” It’s amazing what these Whos just throw away. Oh well. One man's
toxic sludge is another man's potpourri. [Max barks] I don't know, it's some
kind of soup.
10. The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst,
and that's all that matters. At least I scared the bejeebles* out of that
little girl at the post office. She’ll be scarred for life, if we’re lucky.
11. The Grinch [talking to his telephone]: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
[The Grinch listens to the message he put on the machine]: If you
utter so much as one syllable, I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!
If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. I tell you Max, I don't know why I ever leave
this place. I've got all the company I need right here. [indicates himself,
then shouts] Hello!
Echo: Hello, hello, hello...?
The Grinch: How are you?
Echo: How are you... how are you... how are you...?
The Grinch: I asked you first.
Echo: I asked you first... first... first...
The Grinch: Oh, that's really mature, saying exactly what I
Echo: ...Saying exactly what I say... what I say... what I say...
The Grinch: I'm an idiot!
Echo: You're an idiot... an idiot... in idiot...!
The Grinch [whispering]: All right, fine! I'm not talking to you
anymore. In fact, I'm going to whisper! So that by the time my voice
reverberates off the walls, and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
Echo [after a pause]: You're an idiot... an idiot... an idiot!
The Grinch [eating a glass bottle]: Am I just eating because I'm
12. [Cindy is talking to Whos about the Grinch’s childhood]
Mayor May-Who: If the truth be told, he liked Martha. Martha was my
girlfriend…. He had hair (a beard). Not pleasant. He shed. Not
Martha May Whovier: Did I have a crush on the Grinch? Of course
Cindy: I didn't ask you that.
13. [in a flash back to childhood, we see that the Grinch made a gift for
Martha and tried to shave, but he cut his face with the razor. Then
the other children—led by the future mayor—laughed at him, so he started
destroying the classroom.]
The child Grinch [holding a Christmas tree over his head]: I hate
Mayor May-Who [remembering that day]: The anger.
Shoe-shiner: The fury.
Martha: The muscles… It was a horrible day, when they were so cruel to
him. And, I could hardly bear it. And that was the last time we ever saw
him. The very, last time.
Narrator: So, whatever the reason, his heart of his shoes,
He stood outside his cave, hating the Whos.
The Grinch: [hating the Whos “alphabetically” by looking at a phone
index] Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate. Loathe
14. The Grinch [when he finds himself singing Christmas songs]: Blast
this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant. Must drown them out! It’s
15. Cindy: Mr. Grinch, I came to invite you to be Holiday Cheermeister.
The Grinch: Uh, “Holiday Whoobie-whaty*”?
The Grinch [laughing loudly]: That’s a good one!
Cindy: I know you hate Christmas, but what if it’s all just a
misunderstanding? I mean, I myself am having some Yuletide doubts. But maybe
if you can reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas…
The Grinch [angry]: Grow up!
Cindy: …then maybe it’ll be all right for me, too! Please. You have to
accept the award.
The Grinch: Award? You never mentioned an award!
Cindy: Yeah, with a trophy and everything!
The Grinch: And I won?
Cindy: You won!
The Grinch: That means there were losers. A town full of losers! I
like it! Was anyone emotionally shattered?
Cindy: Well, the Mayor wasn’t happy... [smiling] Martha May will be
The Grinch: Oh, she will? And she’ll see me: a winner.
Cindy: So, will you come?
The Grinch: Oh, all right.
(continued in the other column)