Sentences/dialogs from the movie:
(in part from
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098384/; blue
sections are particularly important;
imdb's website is a great place to find movie facts and more)
Say these dialogs out loud with your friends;
it will help you prepare to watch the movie. The underlined words
are defined in the vocabulary section above.
1. The film starts with Annelle looking for “Truvy’s Beauty Spot”—a
beauty salon in part of Truvy’s home. She passes a home that’s extremely
busy, on the morning of a wedding; the reception will be held there after a
church wedding. Drum (the father of the bride) is
shooting a gun (with blanks) into the air, trying to scare lots of
birds from the trees, lest (as the Bride-to-be put it) “[we would
alienate the entire neighborhood] if they got covered in bird s--t
at my reception.” (To which her mother said, “Do you have to be so
crude?”—in other words, “You shouldn’t use offensive language like that.”)
2. Truvy: Spud! Turn off that stupid television. Get in here and finish
dyeing these Easter eggs.
Spud: I ran out of stuff [to color the eggs with].
Truvy: Well, that’s why God invented the A&P [grocery store].
Spud: Gotta work on the truck.
Truvy: No, you gotta get the lead out.
Spud (sarcastically): Yes, ma’am. I live to serve.
Truvy: If these eggs are not at the church by noon, they don’t get
hidden. Are you listening, Spud?
Annelle (as Truvy opens the front door): [Are you] Mrs. Jones?
Truvy: Are you Annelle? You sweet thing, come on [in]. (Then she
yells out the window.) Pick up my green dress at the [dry] cleaners!
Annelle: Am I interrupting something?
Truvy: No, I'm just screaming at my husband. I can do that any time!
Please, call me Truvy.
3. Annelle (finishing her work on Truvy’s hair, as part of her job
application process): It’s a little bit pouffier than I would
normally do, but I’m nervous.
Truvy: I’m not worried about that. I usually wrap my entire head in
toilet paper when I go to bed; so it usually gets pretty shmushed
down in that process anyway…. You’re technique is really good. I think your
form and content will improve with time. So, best I can tell, young lady,
you’ve just landed yourself a job.
4. Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up
everything but boys and money.
5. Truvy: [You’re now a] Glamour Technician. And I’ll have you know, you
are working in the most successful shop in this town, because I have a
strict philosophy that I have stuck to for 15 years: “There is no such thing
as natural beauty.”
6. Truvy: Annelle, I’d like to introduce you to
the former first lady of Chinquapin, Ms. Belcher. Clairee, I’d like
you to meet Annelle.
Clairee: I’m a little bit embarrassed. [My hair is] windblown. I've
just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Beautifully; Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was
fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head. (to Annelle) Janice Van
Meter is the current mayor’s wife. We hate her.
Truvy: They just named the new park after
Clairee’s late husband.
7. Truvy: I’m not worried about [her stealing anything]. She’s just as
sweet as can be. And besides, I kind of like the idea of hiring somebody
with a past.
Clairee: She can't be more than eighteen. She hasn't had time to have
a past.
Truvy: Oh, get with it, Clairee. This is the 1980s. If you can
achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.
8.* [Jackson (the groom-to-be) sneaks in through Shelby’s window and
surprises her. They had “a fight” the night before, and Shelby said she
would not go through with the wedding.]
Shelby: Get back over to Aunt Laura’s. It’s bad luck to see me before
the wedding.
Jackson: So you are going to marry me. Say you’re going to marry me. I
hate suspense.
Shelby: OK. OK.
Jackson: I’m going to make you very happy.
Shelby (to herself after he left): We’ll see.
9. [A neighbor is very mad because, according to her vet, Drum’s
gun noise is causing a “nervous condition” in her dog. Drum ignores her;
then she follows him through the house]
Ouiser: I am just about at the end of my rope.
Drum: Well, you tie a noose and slip it over your head.
[Ouiser throws his blanks into the swimming pool]
Drum: I’ve got to scare away about five zillion birds this afternoon
before Shelby’s reception. If I don’t, I’ll have to deal with my wife, and I
make it a point never to deal with my wife.
10. [At the beauty salon; Annelle is nervous about cutting M'Lynn’s hair on
the day of her daughter’s wedding.]
Annelle: Does your dress have to go over your head?
M'Lynn: No
Annelle (relieved): OK. (Then she almost falls over a box of hair
supplies)
Shelby [to Annelle]: Relax! You can't
screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football
helmet.
[Then Shelby and her mother argue about whether Shelby should be
working at the hospital so much (because of her diabetes).]
Shelby: You know what you need in here, Truvy? You need a radio. Music
is a wonderful thing to have in the background; it takes the pressure off of
everybody feeling they have to talk so much.
Truvy: I used to have one, but I slammed it against the wall when I
couldn't figure out where the batteries went. Of course, I know now I was
suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome.
[Then Clairee says that someone is selling the local radio station,
KPPD, and that she is thinking about buying it—which she does later.]
Truvy: What are your colors, Shelby? (i.e., what are the colors of
your wedding decorations)
Shelby: They’re "blush" and "bashful."
M'Lynn: Her colors are "pink" and pink."
Shelby: My colors are "blush" and "bashful" Mama!
M'Lynn: How precious is this wedding gonna get, I ask you? [They
bicker a while about how everything at the church and in their back yard has
been covered with various shades of pink.] That sanctuary looks like it's
been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol (i.e., a think, pink stomach medicine).
Shelby: I like pink. Pink is my signature color.
[Shelby tells Truvy that there will be nine brides’ maids, because her
mama made her include all the cousins.]
Shelby: It will be pretentious. And Daddy always says, “an
ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!”
[They talk about other aspects of the wedding, including a “horrible”
groom’s cake in the shape of an armadillo. Then they talk about last night’s
dinner (after the wedding rehearsal) with Jackson’s family—people who love
to hunt.]
Truvy: Did you do anything especially romantic?
Shelby: Well, we went down to Frenchmen’s Point and went parking… (i.e.,
kissing in the car). Then we went skinny dipping and we did
things that frightened the fish.
[As the other ladies talk, Shelby gets sick—a
diabetes attack—and her mother has to force her to drink some sweet
juice, which will make her better. Then her mom starts talking to the
ladies, almost like Shelby isn’t there.]
M'Lynn: She’s been so upset lately. Dr.
Mitchell told her, on her last appointment, that children are not possible.
Shelby: Don’t talk about me like I’m not
here!
M'Lynn: She’s making some sense now, yes she
is. This [attack] was not bad at all—not bad at all.
Truvy: I’m really sorry about the children
part.
Shelby: Jackson said, “There’s plenty of kids
out there who need good homes. We’ll adopt ten of them. We’ll buy
them if we have to.”
Clairee: Jackson sounds like “good people” to
me!
11. [As they leave the beauty salon, they are talking about Clairee’s
shoes. She says she might sell them, and Truvy says she might buy them.]
Clairee: What size do you wear?
Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I
buy a size eight.
Clairee: They’re 8.5.
Truvy: Perfect!
[Ouiser approaches them]
Clairee: Lord, give us strength.
Annelle: That is one ugly dog. What kind of dog is that?
Clairee: If it had hair, it'd be a Saint Bernard.
Ouiser: This is it, I've found it; I am in hell.
Truvy: Good morning, Ouiser.
Ouiser: Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer
have one! [Then Ouiser says she came to talk to M’Lynn about her husband,
who threatened to shoot her.] He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
M’Lynn: I’m sorry, Ouiser. This whole thing (i.e., trying to scare
away the birds) has gotten out of hand…. Oh, Ouiser, Drum would NEVER
point a gun at a lady!
Ouiser: He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the
sink before he pees in it!
[Then Ouiser harshly questions Annelle about her family, and we find
out that her husband “is in trouble with the law” and that her marriage “may
not be legal”]
Annelle: But Miss Truvy, I swear to you that my personal tragedy will
not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
12. Truvy: I don't like Belle Marmillion. I don't trust anybody who does
their own hair. I don't think it's normal.
MLynn: She’s the best volunteer we have at the Mental
Guidance Center. She is so good with troubled children.
Truvy: I wish I’d have taken Louie there when he was little, and
gotten him straightened out.
13. [Ouiser is cutting the groom’s cake for wedding guests, when Drum comes
up.]
Ouiser: I’m not talking to you.
Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a
piece of cake?
[Ouiser slices him the tail/butt piece of an armadillo cake]
Drum (sarcastically): Aww, thanks Ouiser. There’s nothing like
a good piece of ass.
14. [Talking about the new mayor's wife, dancing at the wedding]
Clairee: Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
Truvy: Well, I haven’t left the house without lycra (a kind of
support-stocking) on these thighs since I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right.
15. M'Lynn: Well, the boys just bought the car around. (It is covered
with inflated condoms.)
Shelby: What did they do to it?
M'Lynn: Let me put it this way... If you and Jackson want to practice
safe sex, you're all set!
16. [Ouiser is afraid to walk home by herself, even though it is very
close]
Clairee: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.
17. [It is now Christmas time—Easter is in April, so this is
eight months after the wedding—and Shelby has come home for a visit; she
meets Truvy and Annelle at a “Christmas Festival” near the river. Annelle
has changed a lot.]
Truvy: Louie brought his new girlfriend home, and the nicest thing I
can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.
Annelle: My hair is not the only thing that’s
changed. So much has happened. After they finally put [my husband] behind
bars and I was rid of him, I went wild… But Truvy helped me see the
error of my ways. She gave me a place to live; I now go to church; I’ve done
guest lectures at the trade school (or “beauty school”)…
Truvy: Our little Annelle here has become one of the hottest
tickets in town.
(Suddenly, Annelle cries out “Nobody move!” because she has
lost one of her contact lenses. Then we find out that Clairee has
bought the local radio station, and will be the “color announcer” at
tonight’s football game.)
18. Clairee [broadcasting live from the locker room after the game;
trying to do "color commentary" by discussing the color of the football
uniforms]: ... I myself would never have chosen those white pants; they’re
filthy… But I love the tops - such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call
this color "grape" or "aubergine'?
Ouiser: SHUT UP!
Clairee: What?
Ouiser: You're making a fool out of yourself, Clairee.
Clairee: I am not.
Ouiser: This is football. All the people want to hear about are
touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn about that grape s--t.
19. M'Lynn (talking to Shelby about a “Christmas gift exchange” at
work): We have this new psychiatrist that comes in two days a week and of
course I pick her name out of the grab bag. I’ve got to pick
something up for her tomorrow. Would you put that down on the list? I have
no idea what to get your father. What's Jackson giving you, do you know?
Shelby: Furniture.
M'Lynn: Furniture, well, my! [It] Must be nice to be married to a rich
lawyer. What's it for, the living room?
Shelby: No, for the nursery. (her mother has a sad, shocked
reaction, because she realizes that her daughter is now pregnant, against
the advice of her doctor) We wanted to tell you when you and Daddy were
together, but you're never together so it’s every man for himself.
I'm pregnant.
M'Lynn: I realize that.
Shelby: Well is that it? Is that all you're
gonna say?
M'Lynn: What do you want me to say?
Shelby: Well, something along the lines of
congratulations.
M'Lynn (without emotion): Congratulations.
Shelby (sarcastically): Would it be
too much to ask for a little excitement? Not too much—I wouldn't want you
to break a sweat or anything. It's in July. Oh Mama, you have to help me
plan. We're gonna get a new house. Jackson and I are going house hunting
next week. Jackson loves to hunt for anything.
M'Lynn: What does Jackson say about all of
this?
Shelby: He's so excited! He says he doesn't
care whether it's a boy or a girl, but I know he really wants a son so
bad he can taste it. He's really cute about the whole thing. It's all he
can talk about: “Jackson Latree, Jr.”
M'Lynn: Does he ever listen? I mean, when
doctors and specialists give you advice, does he listen? I know you
never do, does he? Huh? What? Well, I guess since he doesn't have
to carry the baby it really isn't any of his concern.
Shelby: Mama, I want a child.
M'Lynn: What about adoption? You've
filled out all the applications.
Shelby: Mama, no judge is going to give a
baby to someone with my medical records. Jackson even put out feelers
about buying one.
M'Lynn: People do it all the time.
Shelby: Listen to me. I want a child of my
own. I think it would help things a lot.
M'Lynn: I see.
Shelby: Mama, you worry too much. In fact, I
never worry because I always know you're worried enough for the both of us.
Jackson and I have given this a lot of thought.
M'Lynn: Has he really? Well, there's a first
time for everything.
Shelby: Don't start on Jackson.
M'Lynn: Your poor body has been through so
much. Why would you deliberately do this to yourself?
Shelby: Diabetics have healthy babies
all the time.
M'Lynn: You are special Shelby. There are
limits to what you can do.
Shelby: I am going to be very, very careful.
Nobody is going to be hurt or disappointed or even inconvenienced.
M'Lynn: Least of all Jackson, I'm sure.
Shelby: You're jealous, because you no
longer have a say-so in what I do, and that drives you up the wall.
You're ready to spit nails because you can't call the shots.
(i.e., you are angry because you are no longer in control of my life; now
you can’t tell me what to do)
M'Lynn: I did not raise my daughter to talk
to me like this.
Shelby: Yes, you did.
M'Lynn: Oh no, I didn't.
Shelby: Whenever any of us asked you what you
wanted for us when we grew up, what did you say?
M'Lynn: Shelby, I'm not in the mood to play
games.
Shelby: Just tell me what you said, Mama;
what did you say?
M'Lynn: The only thing I have ever said to
you, ever, is that I want you to be happy.
Shelby: Okay, the one thing that would make
me happy is to have a baby. If I could adopt one I would, but I
can't. I'm going to have a baby, and I wish you'd be happy too.
M'Lynn: I'll tell you what I wish. Well, I
don't know what I wish.
Shelby: Mama, I don't know why you have to
make everything so difficult. I look at having this baby as the opportunity
of a lifetime. Sure there may be risk involved, but that's true for anybody.
But you get through it and life goes on. And when it's all said and done
there will be a little piece of immortality with Jackson's good looks and my
sense of style, I hope. Please, please! I need your support. I would rather
have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing
special.
(continued in the next column)
